From Grief to Growth: Honoring the Legacy While Healing Ourselves”

Monday, January 20, 2026 - Martin Luther King Jr. Day

FROM THE FOUNDER’S DESK

Good morning, Truth Seekers.

Today, as we honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., I’m writing to you from a place I never imagined I’d be.

At 3:00 a.m. on New Year’s morning—January 1, 2026—I received the call no one is ever prepared for. My little brother, Poppy, died by suicide.

Everything since has felt unreal. We are grieving, searching our hearts, and replaying moments—wondering what we missed, what we could have done differently. The truth is, he was tired. He wanted the pain to stop. He wanted peace.

I would give anything to have him here instead of writing these words. But this is where we are.

2025 took three important people from me—my aunt Seleke, my friend Terri, and now my baby brother. And here I am, 20 days into 2026, trying to figure out how to keep going.

But here’s what I’m learning in the darkest moments: Grief and growth can coexist. Mourning and moving forward aren’t opposites. And honoring those we’ve lost doesn’t mean staying stuck in pain. It means living fully because of what they gave us.

Dr. King died at 39 fighting for a better world. My brother Poppy didn’t get to see his 39th birthday. But both of them—in their own ways—taught me that life is precious, time is short, and we have to keep moving forward even when it feels impossible.

So today’s newsletter is deeply personal. It’s about honoring Dr. King’s radical legacy AND taking care of ourselves through grief, seasonal depression, and the unbearable weight of losing someone to suicide.

I’m writing this as the CEO of Melanin Bliss Media, yes. But I’m also writing as a sister, protector, a niece, a friend, and someone who is learning—in real time—how to grieve and grow simultaneously.

We are not a brand, but a blueprint. And right now, the blueprint includes showing you that even the founder is human, hurting, and healing.

Let’s get into it. Because if my brother’s death teaches me anything, it’s that we cannot stay silent about mental health anymore. And if Dr. King’s life teaches us anything, it’s that we keep fighting—even when the world seems designed to break us.

With love, & faith ,Amber, Founder & CEO, Melanin Bliss LLC

🖤 MLK: THE RADICAL THEY TRIED TO ERASE

Trump’s Disrespect & Why Dr. King Kept Going Anyway

On January 20, 2026, as President Donald Trump was inaugurated for his second term, reports confirmed that the official portrait of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was removed from the Oval Office—again.

This is the second time Trump has removed King’s image & the sculpture of his head. The first was in 2017. President Biden restored it in 2021. And now, it’s gone again.

Let’s be clear: This is intentional.

Removing Dr. King’s portrait on the federal holiday honoring his legacy is not an accident. It’s a statement.

But here’s what I realized as I watched the news through my grief: Trump’s behavior is exactly the racism Dr. King dealt with, if not worse every single day. still, Dr. King didn’t stop. He didn’t flinch. He kept going.

Governors refused to protect him. The FBI surveilled him. White moderate allies abandoned him. Presidents surveilled him. The country called him divisive, dangerous, a communist, a threat.

And he kept organizing. He kept marching. He kept demanding justice.

If Dr. King could face that level of hatred and keep moving forward, so can we.

And if my brother Poppy—who was tired, who wanted peace—fought as long as he did before his pain became too much, then I owe it to him to keep fighting for a world where people get the mental health care they need before it’s too late.

That’s how I honor both of them. By refusing to give up.

The MLK They Don’t Teach You About

Every year, America loves to quote one speech. “I have a dream.” But Dr. King was so much more than a dreamer. He was a radical, a revolutionary, and a democratic socialist who made powerful people deeply uncomfortable.

Here’s what they don’t tell you in school:

1. Dr. King Called for Economic Revolution

In 1967, Dr. King launched the Poor People’s Campaign, demanding:

∙ Guaranteed annual income for all Americans

∙ Federal jobs programs to eliminate unemployment

∙ Affordable housing as a human right

∙ Quality education regardless of zip code

He said: “True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar. It comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring.”

He wasn’t asking for charity. He was demanding that we dismantle systems that create poverty.

In his final book, Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community? (1967), Dr. King wrote:

“I am now convinced that the simplest approach will prove to be the most effective—the solution to poverty is to abolish it directly by a now widely discussed measure: the guaranteed income.”

He advocated for $30 billion in annual federal commitment to eradicate poverty, construction of 500,000 affordable housing units annually, and a “Bill of Rights for the Disadvantaged.”

These weren’t side notes. This was the core of his work in his final years.

2. Dr. King Opposed the Vietnam War

In his 1967 speech “Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break Silence,” delivered at Riverside Church in New York exactly one year before his assassination, Dr. King called the U.S. government “the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today.”

He connected racism, militarism, and economic exploitation as interconnected evils—what he called the “triple evils” that must be addressed together.

This speech cost him allies. President Lyndon B. Johnson stopped speaking to him. Major newspapers condemned him. Civil rights leaders distanced themselves. The FBI intensified surveillance.

But he didn’t back down.

3. Dr. King Was Labeled a Communist and Threat to National Security

The FBI, under J. Edgar Hoover, wiretapped Dr. King’s phones, bugged his hotel rooms, attempted to blackmail him with personal information, and called him “the most dangerous Negro in America.”

FBI documents (declassified years later) reveal they even sent Dr. King an anonymous letter encouraging him to take his own life.

Why? Because he challenged capitalism, opposed war, and organized poor people across racial lines to demand systemic change.

That’s the real reason he was viewed as a threat.

Not because of his dream. Because of his demands.

4. Dr. King Was Assassinated While Supporting Striking Workers

On April 4, 1968, Dr. King was in Memphis, Tennessee, supporting Black sanitation workers on strike for fair wages ($2.50/hour instead of $1.27), safe working conditions, and dignity after two workers were crushed to death in a garbage compactor.

The workers carried signs reading “I AM A MAN”—a declaration of their humanity in the face of dehumanizing labor conditions.

His final speech, “I’ve Been to the Mountaintop,” was delivered to these workers the night before he was killed. He said:

“Now we’re going to march again, and we’ve got to march again, in order to put the issue where it is supposed to be. And force everybody to see that there are thirteen hundred of God’s children here suffering, sometimes going hungry, going through dark and dreary nights wondering how this thing is going to come out.”

He didn’t die giving a speech about dreams. He died fighting for economic justice—standing with sanitation workers demanding a living wage.

5. Dr. King Was Deeply Unpopular When He Died

Contrary to the sanitized version we’re taught, Dr. King was not beloved in his lifetime.

A 1966 Gallup poll showed that 63% of Americans had a negative view of him. By 1968, according to a Harris Poll, 75% of Americans—including 60% of Black Americans—opposed his stance on the Vietnam War.

He was called divisive, extreme, un-American, a troublemaker, a communist.

Sound familiar?

The same people who hated him then now quote him to silence activists today.

Lesser-Known Facts About Dr. King

✨ He was born Michael King Jr. His father changed both their names to Martin Luther in 1934 after a trip to Germany honoring the Protestant reformer Martin Luther.

✨ He skipped two grades and entered Morehouse College in Atlanta at age 15. He graduated at 19.

✨ He earned a PhD in Systematic Theology from Boston University at age 26, completing his dissertation in 1955.

✨ He was arrested 29 times for acts of civil disobedience and protest—including for going 30 mph in a 25 mph zone in Montgomery (a pretextual arrest).

✨ He won the Nobel Peace Prize at age 35—the youngest person to receive it at the time (1964).

✨ He donated his entire $54,123 Nobel Prize award (about $530,000 in today’s money) to civil rights organizations including SCLC, CORE, SNCC, the NAACP, and the National Council of Negro Women.

✨ He ad-libbed the most famous part of “I Have a Dream.” Gospel singer Mahalia Jackson shouted from behind him, “Tell them about the dream, Martin!” The “I have a dream” section wasn’t in his prepared text.

✨ He was an avid Star Trek fan. He convinced actress Nichelle Nichols (Lt. Uhura) not to leave the show after the first season, telling her she was a role model for Black children and that Star Trek showed a future of racial equality.

✨ He plagiarized portions of his doctoral dissertation. Boston University conducted a formal inquiry in 1991 and found he improperly credited or failed to credit sources. He was not stripped of his degree posthumously, but it’s a reminder that even our heroes are human and flawed.

✨ He was stabbed in 1958 by Izola Ware Curry, a mentally ill Black woman, at a book signing in Harlem. The blade came so close to his aorta that doctors said if he had sneezed, he would have died. He later wrote her a letter expressing forgiveness.

✨ He was only 39 years old when he was assassinated. Thirty-nine years old. Younger than many of us reading this. And he changed the world.

The King Family Legacy Continues

Dr. King’s descendants have carried forward his work in remarkable ways:

Coretta Scott King (1927-2006) - His widow, who became a civil rights leader in her own right, fought for 15 years to establish Martin Luther King Jr. Day as a federal holiday (achieved in 1983, first observed in 1986). She founded The King Center in Atlanta and was a vocal advocate for LGBTQ+ rights, saying, “Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people.”

Yolanda King (1955-2007) - The eldest daughter, an actress and activist who used theater and the arts as tools for social change. She founded Higher Ground Productions and was outspoken about continuing her father’s legacy through creative activism.

Martin Luther King III (born 1957) - Civil rights activist and former president of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC). He has worked on voting rights, nonviolence education, and carrying forward the Poor People’s Campaign.

Dexter King (born 1961) - Served as chairman of The King Center and has worked to preserve his father’s intellectual property and legacy.

Bernice King (born 1963) - Minister, lawyer, and CEO of The King Center. She’s been a powerful voice on social media and in public discourse, carrying forward her father’s message while addressing contemporary issues. She tweets regularly about voting rights, economic justice, and police violence, always connecting current struggles to her father’s work.

Grandchildren carrying the torch:

Yolanda Renee King (born 2008) - Granddaughter of MLK, daughter of Martin Luther King III. At just 9 years old, she spoke at the March for Our Lives rally in 2018, saying: “I have a dream that enough is enough. And that this should be a gun-free world, period.” She continues youth activism work today.

The King family has been clear: Dr. King’s legacy is not about feel-good speeches. It’s about radical systemic change. They’ve challenged politicians who quote Dr. King while opposing the very policies he fought for—voting rights, economic justice, healthcare, education, and peace.

As Bernice King tweeted in 2021: “People quote my father, but they don’t want to do what my father did.”

How We See the Fruit of His Labor Today

Dr. King died fighting for:

∙ Voting rights → The Voting Rights Act of 1965 (though under constant attack, we still have the framework to fight back)

∙ Economic justice → Conversations about living wages, universal basic income, and reparations are now mainstream

∙ Nonviolent protest → The blueprint for movements like Black Lives Matter, climate justice, gun reform

∙ Interracial coalitions → The Poor People’s Campaign continues today under Rev. Dr. William Barber II

∙ Dignity and equality → The idea that Black people deserve full humanity is no longer up for debate (even if practice lags behind)

His legacy lives in:

∙ Every protest march

∙ Every union strike

∙ Every demand for living wages and healthcare

∙ Every Black child who believes they belong anywhere

∙ Every person who refuses to accept injustice quietly

And his legacy lives in me—a Black woman building a media company that refuses to be silent.

What We Can Learn From Dr. King Today

1. Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s moving forward despite it.Dr. King received death threats daily. His house was bombed. His family was terrorized. He knew he would likely be killed. In his final speech, he said: “Like anybody, I would like to live a long life… But I’m not concerned about that now.”

He kept going anyway.

2. Real change requires sacrifice.Dr. King sacrificed comfort, safety, popularity, and ultimately his life. He could have stayed in his pulpit, collected his salary, and lived quietly. He chose otherwise.

What are we willing to sacrifice for justice?

3. The fight is economic, not just racial.Dr. King understood that you can’t have racial justice without economic justice. Poverty, housing, healthcare, education—these are civil rights issues.

4. Progress is slow and nonlinear.Dr. King knew he wouldn’t see the Promised Land. He said so explicitly. But he kept building anyway.

We’re in this for the long haul.

5. The work is collective, not individual.Dr. King didn’t do this alone. He had Coretta. He had Ralph Abernathy. He had Diane Nash, John Lewis, Fannie Lou Hamer, Bayard Rustin, Dorothy Cotton, and thousands of unnamed organizers.

We need each other.

6. Your life’s work doesn’t have to be completed in your lifetime.Dr. King died at 39 with work unfinished. But his vision lives on in every person who continues the fight.

Your contribution matters—even if you don’t live to see the outcome.

How to Honor MLK’s Legacy (Regardless of Trump’s Racism)

Here’s the thing about Trump removing Dr. King’s portrait: It doesn’t erase Dr. King. It reveals Trump.

Dr. King faced this exact hatred his entire life. And he kept going.

So here’s how we honor him:

1. Live the values, not the myth.Don’t just quote “I Have a Dream.” Read Where Do We Go from Here. Study his economic radicalism. Understand why he was labeled dangerous.

2. Organize.Dr. King believed in collective action, not individual heroism. Join a union. Support organizers. Show up to city council meetings. Build coalitions.

3. Fight for economic justice.He didn’t die for diversity seminars. He died demanding living wages, housing, healthcare, and education as human rights. Support those fights today.

4. Don’t let them sanitize him.When people weaponize MLK against protesters (“He would’ve been peaceful!”), remind them: he was arrested 29 times. He shut down cities. He disrupted commerce. He made people uncomfortable. That was the point.

5. Connect the issues.Racism, poverty, war, police violence, climate justice—Dr. King understood these were interconnected. We can’t fight one without fighting all.

6. Keep going.Trump’s racism isn’t new. It’s the same racism Dr. King faced. The difference? Dr. King didn’t let it stop him. And neither will we.

Sources:

∙ Stanford University’s Martin Luther King Jr. Research and Education Institute

∙ The King Center Archives (thekingcenter.org)

∙ Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community? by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (1967)

∙ The Autobiography of Martin Luther King, Jr. edited by Clayborne Carson

∙ “Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break Silence” speech transcript (April 4, 1967)

∙ “I’ve Been to the Mountaintop” speech transcript (April 3, 1968)

∙ Gallup Poll, “Martin Luther King Jr. Approval Ratings” (1966)

∙ Harris Poll on Vietnam War opposition (1968)

∙ FBI files on Martin Luther King Jr. (declassified documents)

∙ National Archives, Civil Rights Movement documentation

∙ Biography.com, “Coretta Scott King Biography”

∙ The King Center official statements and Bernice King’s public communications

💙 THE SILENCE AROUND SUICIDE IN BLACK COMMUNITIES

A SISTER’S GRIEF: Why I’m Sharing This With You

I debated whether to share Poppy’s story publicly. Suicide is stigmatized. People have opinions. Families often grieve in silence to avoid judgment.

But silence is what kills us.

Silence is why Black people die by suicide at increasing rates and no one talks about it.

Silence is why families don’t know the warning signs.

Silence is why people suffer alone, thinking they’re the only ones who feel this way.

So I’m breaking the silence. Not for sympathy—though I appreciate every kind word. But because if sharing my brother’s story saves even one life, it’s worth it.

Here’s what I want you to know:

Poppy was loved. Deeply. By family, by friends, by everyone who knew him.

He wasn’t weak. Depression, mental illness, suicidal ideation—these are not character flaws. They are medical conditions that require treatment.

We didn’t see it coming. Or maybe we saw pieces, but not the full picture. Hindsight is brutal. It shows you every moment you wish you could rewind.

He wanted peace. And I have to honor that, even as my heart breaks that he couldn’t find it here with us.

What I Wish Someone Had Told Me

1. Grief doesn’t follow a timeline.People will tell you it gets easier. Maybe it does. Right now, it doesn’t feel like it. And that’s okay.

2. You will feel everything at once.Sadness, anger, guilt, relief (yes, relief—because his pain is over), numbness, gratitude for the time you had, rage at the time you lost. All of it is normal.

3. You didn’t fail.If you lost someone to suicide, hear me: You did not fail them. Mental illness is a thief. It lies. It tells people they’re a burden, that the world is better without them, that the pain will never end. You cannot love someone out of depression. You cannot save someone who doesn’t believe they can be saved in that moment.

4. Moving forward isn’t betrayal.I’m building a business. I’m writing this newsletter. I’m planning for my future. None of that means I don’t miss my brother every single day. It means I’m honoring him by living—because he can’t.

5. Ask for help.I’m in therapy. I’m leaning on my best friend. I’m letting people bring me food and check on me. I’m crying when I need to. You cannot do this alone.

What They’re Not Telling You About Black Suicide

My brother is now a statistic. And that breaks my heart. But if his death can help people understand the crisis we’re facing, then I need to share the data.

The Numbers You Need to Know:

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC):

∙ Suicide rates among Black youth (ages 10-24) have increased by 73% since 2000—the largest increase of any racial/ethnic group

∙ Black children (ages 5-12) are nearly TWICE as likely to die by suicide as white children

∙ Black men have seen a 42% increase in suicide rates since 2000

∙ Black males ages 15-24 have the highest rate of increase in suicide deaths

Yet mental health campaigns rarely center us. Our pain remains invisible—even in death.

The Holiday & Winter Factor:

Research from JAMA Psychiatry and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention shows:

∙ Suicide rates peak in spring, but ideation and planning often begin during winter months

∙ The post-holiday period (January-March) sees increased mental health crises

∙ Financial stress from holiday spending worsens depression

∙ For those already grieving, the holidays magnify unbearable loss

∙ New Year’s can feel especially hopeless for those struggling—“another year of this pain”

My brother died on New Year’s Day. January 1st. The day we’re all supposed to be celebrating new beginnings.

For him, it felt like an ending he couldn’t face.

Why Black People Die by Suicide:

According to NAMI, Mental Health America, and suicide prevention researchers:

∙ Untreated mental illness (lack of access to care)

∙ Chronic stress from racism (race-based traumatic stress)

∙ Social determinants of health (poverty, housing instability, food insecurity)

∙ Stigma (mental health seen as weakness; suicide seen as sin)

∙ Isolation (suffering in silence to appear “strong”)

∙ Hopelessness (feeling like things will never get better)

∙ Access to lethal means (firearms, medications)

Why We Don’t Talk About It:

1. Stigma - “We don’t air our dirty laundry”

2. Shame - Families fear judgment

3. Faith-based condemnation - Some churches call suicide an unforgivable sin, adding guilt to grief

4. Strength narratives - “Black people are strong; we don’t give up”

5. Invisibility - Media rarely covers Black suicide the way they cover white suicide

6. Medical mistrust - Historical trauma makes us wary of mental health systems

But here’s the truth: Silence kills more people than honesty ever will.

For Black Communities Specifically:

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and Mental Health America:

∙ Black Americans experience higher rates of persistent sadness and hopelessness

∙ Social determinants of health (poverty, housing instability, food insecurity) worsen mental health

∙ Racism-related stress is a daily chronic stressor that increases depression and anxiety

∙ Lack of access to care means conditions go untreated until they become severe

∙ Black adults are 20% more likely to report serious psychological distress than white adults

∙ Yet Black adults are half as likely to receive mental health treatment

🚨 WARNING SIGNS & HOW TO HELP

Recognize the Signs of Suicidal Ideation

From the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and American Foundation for Suicide Prevention:

Talk:

∙ “I wish I wasn’t here”

∙ “I’m a burden to everyone”

∙ “There’s no point anymore”

∙ “I just want the pain to stop”

∙ “You’d be better off without me”

∙ “I can’t do this anymore”

Behavior:

∙ Withdrawing from friends, family, activities

∙ Giving away possessions

∙ Saying goodbye in unusual or final-sounding ways

∙ Sudden mood improvement after period of depression (may indicate they’ve made a plan and feel relieved)

∙ Increased substance use

∙ Reckless behavior

∙ Searching online for ways to die

∙ Stockpiling medications

∙ Acquiring firearms

Mood:

∙ Depression, hopelessness, worthlessness

∙ Rage, anger, seeking revenge

∙ Anxiety, agitation, inability to sleep or sleeping all the time

∙ Dramatic mood swings

What to Do If Someone You Love Is Suicidal

DO:

✅ Ask directly: “Are you thinking about suicide?”Asking does NOT plant the idea. It opens the door for them to be honest.

✅ Listen without judgment.Don’t try to fix it or talk them out of it. Just listen.

✅ Take it seriously.Even if they say “I’m just kidding” or “I’d never actually do it”—believe the pain behind the words.

✅ Don’t leave them alone.If they’re in immediate danger, stay with them.

✅ Remove access to lethal means.Guns, pills, anything they could use. Do it calmly and without drama.

✅ Call for help:

∙ 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text)

∙ 911 if immediate danger

∙ The Steve Fund Crisis Line: Text “STEVE” to 741741 (for young people of color)

∙ Take them to the nearest emergency room

✅ Follow up. If they’re safe for now, check in regularly. Depression lies and tells people they’re alone. Prove it wrong.

DON’T:

❌ Say “You have so much to live for” (they can’t see that right now)

❌ Say “Think about your family” (guilt doesn’t help)

❌ Minimize their pain (“It’s not that bad” / “Others have it worse”)

❌ Promise to keep it a secret (their life is more important than a secret)

❌ Leave them alone to “think about it”

❌ Assume they’re just seeking attention

What to Do If You’re Having Suicidal Thoughts

If you’re reading this and you’re struggling, please hear me:

Your pain is real. Your exhaustion is real. And you deserve help.

✅ Call 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) - Free, confidential, 24/7

✅ Text “STEVE” to 741741 - The Steve Fund Crisis Line for young people of color

✅ Text “HELLO” to 741741 - Crisis Text Line

✅ Call a trusted friend or family member

✅ Go to the nearest emergency room

✅ Call your therapist or psychiatrist (if you have one)

✅ Reach out to your faith leader (if that’s part of your support system)

If you’re not in immediate crisis but you’re struggling:

  • Make an appointment with a therapist or psychiatrist.

  • Tell someone you trust how you’re feeling.

  • Create a safety plan (list of people to call, reasons to stay, coping strategies).

  • Remove access to lethal means from your environment.

You are not a burden. You are loved. Your life has value. Please stay.

EXPERT VOICE: DONIELLE YOUNG ON GRIEVING SUICIDE LOSS

Donielle Young, LCSW - Grief Therapist & Suicide Loss Survivor Founder of The Modern Mourner | Author of Grieving While Black

Donielle Young is a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in grief and bereavement, particularly in Black communities. She is also a suicide loss survivor—her brother died by suicide in 2018. Her work centers on destigmatizing grief and creating space for Black people to mourn openly.

Donielle’s Tips for Surviving Suicide Loss:

1. “Give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel—without judgment.”

Grief from suicide is complicated. You might feel angry at the person who died, guilty for things you said or didn’t say, relieved that their suffering is over, or numb. All of these feelings are valid. Don’t judge yourself for having them.

2. “Understand that you will never have all the answers.”

You will ask “why” a million times. You will replay conversations, looking for clues. The truth is, you may never fully understand. And that’s one of the hardest parts of suicide loss—learning to live with unanswered questions.

3. “Create rituals of remembrance that feel authentic to you.”

Light a candle. Play their favorite music. Cook their favorite meal. Talk to them out loud. Grief rituals don’t have to be formal or religious—they just have to feel right for you.

4. “Connect with other suicide loss survivors.”

General grief support is helpful, but suicide loss is different. Finding people who have walked this specific path can be incredibly healing. You don’t have to explain yourself to them—they already know.

5. “Take care of your body, even when your mind is in chaos.”

Grief lives in the body. Eat when you can. Sleep when you can. Move your body gently (walks, stretching, yoga). Hydrate. These small acts of care matter.

6. “Don’t rush the process.”

People will tell you to “move on” or “be strong.” Ignore them. Grief has no deadline. You’re allowed to take as long as you need.

7. “Consider therapy—especially with someone who specializes in suicide loss.”

Not all therapists understand the unique trauma of losing someone to suicide. Seek out a grief counselor or therapist who specializes in complicated grief or traumatic loss.

8. “If you’re having thoughts of suicide yourself, get help immediately.”

Suicide loss can increase your own risk. If you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out. Call 988, text “STEVE” to 741741, or go to the nearest emergency room. Your life matters.

📚 Book: Grieving While Black: An Anti-Racist Take on Oppression and Sorrow by Donielle Young Follow: @modernmourner on Instagram Website: themodernmourner.com

Additional Grief Experts to Follow

Dr. Thema Bryant - Psychologist, Past President of the American Psychological AssociationAuthor of Homecoming: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self

Dr. Bryant’s work on trauma and grief emphasizes homecoming—returning to yourself after loss. She says: “Grief can disconnect us from ourselves. Healing is about coming home to who you are beneath the pain.”

📚 Book: Homecoming📱 Follow: @DrThema on Instagram Podcast: The Homecoming Podcast

Cole Arthur Riley - Writer, Creator of Black LiturgiesAuthor of This Here Flesh: Spirituality, Liberation, and the Stories That Make Us

Cole’s work offers prayers and meditations for grief, loss, and healing. Her writing is poetic, deeply spiritual, and profoundly healing. She writes: “To grieve well is to honor the truth of what was lost. To live well is to honor what remains.”

📚 Book: This Here Flesh📱 Follow: @blackliturgies on Instagram Website: blackliturgies.com

Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes - Clinical Psychologist, AuthorAuthor of I Bring the Voices of My People: A Womanist Vision for Racial Reconciliation

Her work explores disenfranchised grief—loss that society doesn’t acknowledge or validate (grief from racial violence, systemic oppression, community trauma). She explains: “Black people are often expected to grieve privately and move on quickly, especially when the loss is tied to racism or injustice. But unprocessed grief becomes chronic pain.”

📚 Book: I Bring the Voices of My People📱 Follow: @ChanequaWB on Twitter/X

Francis Weller - Psychotherapist, AuthorAuthor of The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

His work on communal grief rituals has been embraced by many in Black and Indigenous communities. He emphasizes that grief is meant to be shared, not endured alone. He writes: “Grief is not a problem to be solved. It is a sacred skill to be learned.”

📚 Book: The Wild Edge of Sorrow

Practical Tips for Moving Through Grief

From the experts above and grief counselors specializing in Black communities:

1. Give yourself permission to feel it all.Sadness, anger, relief, guilt, joy—grief isn’t one emotion. It’s all of them at once. You’re not doing it wrong.

2. Create rituals of remembrance.Light a candle on their birthday. Cook their favorite meal. Play their favorite song. Small acts keep their memory alive without keeping you stuck.

3. Talk to them.Out loud, in a journal, in prayer. You don’t have to believe they can hear you for it to help you process.

4. Connect with community.Isolation makes grief unbearable. Text a friend. Join a grief support group. Show up to church, mosque, temple, or wherever your people gather.

5. Let yourself laugh.Joy doesn’t dishonor the dead. It honors life. Your loved one would want you to smile again.

6. Seek professional help if grief feels paralyzing.If you can’t get out of bed, if you’re having thoughts of self-harm, if grief is interfering with daily life for more than a few months—please talk to a therapist or counselor.

7. Honor them by living.What did they teach you? What did they love about you? Embody that. That’s how they stay alive.

🌸 CHOOSING JOY AFTER LOSS

BFF Book Club: My Commitment to My Greatest Year Yet

In the middle of my grief, I made a decision: 2026 is going to be my greatest year yet.

Not because the pain will disappear. Not because I’ll stop missing Poppy, or my Aunt Seleke, or Terri.

But because I refuse to let loss be the only story of my life.

My best friend and I started a BFF Book Club—just the two of us, reading together, holding each other accountable, talking through what we’re learning.

Our first book: Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes.

It’s about Shonda’s year of saying “yes” to everything that scared her—public speaking, playing with her kids more, taking care of her health, stepping into her power. It’s funny, vulnerable, and exactly what I needed.

As a new entrepreneur who just lost her brother, I need the reminder: Life is short. Say yes to what matters. Say no to what doesn’t.

I’ll share updates in future newsletters about what we’re learning and what we’re reading next. And if you want to read along, send me an email or DM on social media. Let’s build a community book club.

Why This Matters:

Because after loss, we still get to choose growth. We still get to dream. We still get to live.

That’s what Poppy would want. That’s what Dr. King died for—the right to live fully, joyfully, unapologetically.

So I’m choosing that. Every single day.

Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

Weekend Self-Care for the Grieving

If you’re grieving today—whether it’s recent loss or old wounds—here’s what might help:

Hydrate. Grief dehydrates you. Drink water. Rest without guilt. Your body is processing trauma. Sleep when you can. Get outside. Even 5 minutes. Fresh air helps. Limit doomscrolling. The news will still be there. Protect your peace. Text someone. “I’m not okay today” is a complete sentence. Listen to music that makes you feel something. Sad songs, happy songs, angry songs—whatever you need. Read something comforting. Poetry, fiction, scripture—whatever feeds your soul. Eat something. Anything. Grief kills appetite, but your body needs fuel. Take a real break. Phone off. Door closed. Just breathe.

And if all you do today is breathe, that’s enough.

FINAL WORD:

Dr. King said, “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

Right now, I’m crawling. Some days I can walk. Occasionally, I might even run.

But I’m moving forward. Because my brother didn’t get to. Because Dr. King didn’t get to finish his work. Because someone reading this might be one bad day away from giving up—and I need you to know: please stay.

Your grief is valid. Your exhaustion is real. Your pain deserves acknowledgment.

But so does your life. Your future. Your potential for joy again someday.

We are not a brand, but a blueprint. And the blueprint says: We honor the dead by living fully. We survive by telling the truth. We heal by holding each other up.

Dr. King kept going despite death threats, surveillance, arrests, and betrayal. He kept organizing. He kept demanding justice. He kept loving his people enough to sacrifice everything.

My brother Poppy fought as long as he could. His battle was internal, invisible, and ultimately unbearable. But he fought.

And now it’s our turn to fight—for mental health care, for economic justice, for a world where people like Poppy get help before it’s too late. For a world Dr. King dreamed of but didn’t live to see.

That’s the work. That’s the legacy. That’s how we honor them both.

Happy MLK Day, Blissed Fam!

Let’s make Dr. King proud. Let’s make sure no more families lose someone like Poppy.

Let’s keep going.

With love, grief, and unshakable faith, Amber McClendon Founder & CEO, Melanin Bliss Media, Sister to Poppy, who I will love forever & Daughter of the movement Dr. King started

📱 Stay Connected:Instagram: @melaninblissmedia TikTok: @melaninblissmedia Website: melaninblissmedia.com

💕 Support Independent Black Media:Subscriptions and shares keep MB alive. If this newsletter helped you, please share it with someone who needs it.

📚 Read With Us:BFF Book Club is reading Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. Email amber@mbmedia.co to join the conversation.

🕊️ In Memory:This edition is dedicated to:Poppy - My little brother, gone too soon, loved forever, my Aunt Seleke & Terri - Whose spirits guide me stillDr. Martin Luther King Jr. - Whose radical legacy we carry forward

Crisis Resources (SAVE THIS LIST):

Suicide Prevention:

∙ 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 (24/7)

∙ The Steve Fund Crisis Line: Text “STEVE” to 741741

∙ Crisis Text Line: Text “HELLO” to 741741

∙ Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ youth): 1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 678-678

∙ Trans Lifeline: 1-877-565-8860

∙ Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255, press 1

Mental Health Support:

∙ NAMI Helpline: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

∙ SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

∙ Therapy for Black Girls: therapyforblackgirls.com

∙ Therapy for Black Men: therapyforblackmen.org

∙ The Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation: borislhensonfoundation.org

∙ Black Mental Health Alliance: blackmentalhealth.com

Suicide Loss Survivor Support:

∙ Alliance of Hope: allianceofhope.org

∙ AFSP Survivor Support: afsp.org/find-support

∙ The Dinner Party: thedinnerparty.org

Grief Resources:

∙ The Modern Mourner (Donielle Young): themodernmourner.com

∙ GriefShare: griefshare.org

∙ What’s Your Grief: whatsyourgrief.com

Books Referenced:

∙ Grieving While Black by Donielle Young, LCSW

∙ Homecoming by Dr. Thema Bryant

∙ This Here Flesh by Cole Arthur Riley

∙ I Bring the Voices of My People by Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes

∙ The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller

∙ Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes

∙ Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community? by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

The Melanin Memo is published by Melanin Bliss Media LLC, a 100% Black woman-owned company. All content © 2026.

Truth. Solutions. Stories that matter.🖤 We are not a brand, but a blueprint.

If you or someone you love is struggling, please reach out. Your life matters. We need you here.

💛 988 | Text STEVE to 741741 | You are not alone.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”— Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.